ERIC JULY'S ISOM #1 REVIEW
What a waste
ERIC JULY, BLACK STAN LEE?
Youngrippa59 (powerword: Eric July) is a musician, youtuber and Black libertarian. Whether he was drawn to libertarianism because of weed or underage sex is unclear. What is clear is how he got big on YouTube. Namely, by being a Black token for right wing reactionaries. White nerds love Black nerds that repeat them. His channel is nothing but shitting on how “Woke” all entertainment is now. For your education, a woke show has gay characters that aren’t the villains and the female characters are competent. In other words, it’s an unrealistic show. In his videos he rants about injustices like making Aragorn Black. Or making elves Black. Or letting Black people vote. Now, me dismissing Eric as a token would in itself be racist. If Eric’s content had any depth. Eric’s main obsession is comic books and lamenting how bad and gay they are in the current year. As if they weren’t always gay as your uncle’s dick in your ass at a child friendly drag show. Despite this Eric has amassed a following that thinks they are the rebellion. Rebelling against the NPC/woke/gay mainstream comics industry.
So, Eric is an internet critic and loves comic books? Gee, is this gonna turn out like Linkara? Yes. It turned out like Linkara. Eric decided to make his own comic book. Unlike Linkara, he decided to raise money for it first. And holy fuck did his Black ass raise money. Every virgin that hates the “M SHE U” and cries when Disney makes reboot Gaston suck a cock gave Eric their monies. Eric got over 3 million dollars for his passion project: The Rippaverse. A new independent comic book universe that will take on Marvel, DC and be bigger than Islam. For reals. It won’t have any of that woke shit, my brother. Superman’s son wouldn’t get railed in the Rippaverse, he’d be too busy listening to Joe Rogan. This universe is for the real comic book fans. No soy boys allowed.
The Rippaverse's very first issue came out earlier this year. It is ISOM. What is ISOM? Good question. ISOM is the Rippaverse’s flag ship hero. ISOM stands for “I Suck Other Men”. Is ISOM #1 worth 3 fucking million? No.
ISOM #1 SUMMARY
It begins like all classic comics do with ‘Two weeks earlier’. There is never a ‘Present’ or ‘Now’ text. Two cops and what appears to be discount commissioner Gordon are watching the mayor on TV. The mayor is bragging about crime being down. The cops grumble about superheroes and corruption. One talks about wanting to fuck a redhead superheroine. There are no red heads in this story. Gordon throws them out and then a lady cop bursts in to tell Gordon “SHE’S BACK”. We aren’t told who “She” is.
Now for our hero’s introduction. On a farm outside the city ISOM is punching a heavy bag. He has a massive outdoor gym complete with a track.
ISOM AKA Avery Silman is totally not a self insert for Eric July. ISOM is an angry and confused Black man. Instead of a YouTube channel he has a farm that grows...something. His crops are never stated so it is probably weed because libertarian. ISOM is asked by his sister over the phone to come back to the city he hates to locate a girl. I read this comic twice and I swear the sister doesn’t get a name. The girl, Jasmine, might be in trouble. That trouble might be because of Darren, a former friend of Avery. ISOM’s sister hopes he can use their friendship to locate Jasmine. Jasmine is Mrs. Newman’s daughter. Whoever that is. I picture her as Aunt Jemima. ISOM used to be some kind of superhero. It looks like he’s retired. He may or may not have powers. It is not clear. ISOM hates the city but is willing to go back for the mysterious Mrs. Newman. ISOM leaves his plantation to his white slaves and ventures to civilization.
We are then introduced to Yaira. Yaira is a big tiddy white woman who can fly and shoot energy. Captain Marvel with a worse costume. Eric’s waifu. She is fighting what might be criminals, then the cops. Then Alphacore shows up to protect the cops from Yaira. Alphacore are a trio of super powered cops. They will turn out to be the bad guys, obviously. The main Alphacore guy says they warned Yaira to never come back to the city. So, the “SHE’S BACK” was probably Yaira.
ISOM goes to Darren’s club as Avery. ISOM immediately gets a meeting with Darren, the Black Kingpin of Florespark. Darren calls ISOM a broke ass mystery N****. He recites Avery’s resume of being a below average nobody that just disappeared into the shadows one day. Darren says some of his businesses might be less than legal and tells ISOM to stay away from Jasmine if she is around.
Then Darren offers ISOM a job cleaning shit and piss off the kitchen floor. Like Cinderella. ISOM responds by killing Darren’s most elderly Black bodyguard with an X Ray rib punch from Mortal Kombat. ISOM continues kicking the shit out of Darren’s employees (who are just doing their job) until an Except shows up, Darren’s ‘Elite’.
Excepts (short for exceptionals you see) are the superhumans of the Rippaverse. They do odd jobs that require muscle on the side cause heroin’ aint easy. Dialogue between ISOM and the Elite states they’ve fought before, but the Elite easily rapes ISOM this time. The Elite then throws ISOM, by complete coincidence, into Yaira. Yaira herself was also flying through the air after being thrown by Alphacore. Yaira assumes ISOM is working with the bad guy because he is Black. They fight. Yaira wonders if ISOM has superpowers before dropping him from a fatal height. ISOM narrates about his ‘training’ being useless in this scenario before crash landing on a taxi. There is no way he could survive this without powers but at the same time he implies he has no powers. Alphacore is in the crash landing panel and they seem concerned Yaira just killed some fucking guy. Protecting cops from a vigilante and worrying Yaira may have murdered a civilian? The female Alphacore agent looks like she’s rushing to ISOM’s aide. Despite having almost no dialogue so far and just standing there, they seem more like heroes than ISOM and Yaira. Even though that’s not a high bar.
We briefly cut back to ISOM’s caucasian farm slaves and one of them is pretty sure ISOM might die in the city. He doesn’t really have a good reason to think this but he is right. Then we cut back to ISOM, he’s in the hospital. A doctor and nurse are arguing if ISOM has superpowers. The superpower tests came back negative but the tests don't account for everything. Like they tested for herpes but he might have stealth AIDS. So, ISOM might have powers??? They go to his room to find ISOM has escaped. ISOM walks, not limps, through an alley where a sexy 80s female streetwalker gives him ‘fuck me’ eyes and he recoils.
ISOM activates his ankle watch and his sister picks him up. She interrogates him about his awful day and dog shit detective work. ISOM gives evasive answers. ISOM then narrates that he doesn't give two shits about Jasmine and just wants to Black on Black crime Darren now.
Back on the farm, again, ISOM’s head white slave muses about how trad pill and badass farm life is. Considering Eric July is libertarian, all this farm shit away from the degenerate city makes one wonder why the plot isn't ISOM protecting his farm from the government. Darren could be a corrupt official. All his lackeys could be stand-ins for SJWs and libshit mainstream comic writers. Whatever. ISOM calls his top white slave and informs him that he got his ass beat but he’s not dead. The white slave drops the conversation and draws his gun because it looks like someone sinister has snuck onto the farm. Perhaps an unbroken white buck, we won't know until issue #2.
ISOM stakes out Darren’s club ‘MERQ’ in his truck. ISOM narrates that he is bad at this and his feelings are hurt. A white boomer approaches ISOM and asks him why he is just sitting in his truck masturbating. The boomer then says they are both too poor to go to MERQ because MERQ is ‘the spot’. The boomer expositions that MERQ is probably a hybrid drug den and brothel for cool people. Like Epstein’s island. ISOM and the boomer shake hands showing that race relations in America aren't so bad.
Within MERQ two individuals, one of whom has magic eyes, talk about buying MERQ (or at least a place like MERQ) to spy on important people. Like Epstein’s island. Outside, ISOM approaches the rear entrance while narrating about how he doesn't have a plan because he spent all those hours in his truck just masturbating. He narrates that he will have to improvise. Genius.
By coincidence, Jasmine is also outside MERQ near the rear entrance. ISOM asks her if she is ok and grabs her when she doesn’t really answer. Two of Darren’s men see ISOM grabbing a young woman and grab him. Jasmine runs off. ISOM then says it’s rude that they grabbed him.
ISOM choke slams one of them into the pavement, definitely crushing his skull. Then karate chops the other in the throat. With the two white knights murdered, ISOM super punches another guard. Then ISOM grabs a fourth guard and demands he take him to Darren. The fourth selflessly alerts Darren instead of submitting to ISOM. He is presumably murdered off screen. The next panel MERQ’s doors are knocked down with ISOM standing in the doorway. With the fourth guard unconscious or dead on the ground after ISOM used him as a battering ram. A patron is checking his pulse. Inside MERQ it is no different than any other legitimate club. Everyone in MERQ tells ISOM to leave because he is a buzzkill. ISOM threatens everybody inside. Including the hoes.
The heroic employees of MERQ try their best to defeat the mighty and cruel ISOM. The women (whores) escape thanks to their valiant efforts.
The Elite enters the scene. Ready to fuck again. The Elite correctly points out that ISOM should be dead from Yaira throwing him.
ISOM demands to see Darren. The two angry Black men exit da club to fight. The Elite rambles about how he is a superior ‘Except’. So, ISOM definitely has powers? ISOM defeats the Elite by launching himself off a wall tackling the Elite through the same wall? He could only do this if he webswinged like Spider-Man during the tackle. Like a wrecking ball where he makes the Elite the ball. The Elite is defeated by ISOM’s mysterious wall power. Three cops show up. Upon seeing the unprovoked carnage ISOM has caused at the Elite’s place of work, they try to arrest ISOM. He flees from the police because he is Black. The cops give up because they think he has powers so it’s Alphacore’s problem. Only they have the authority to kill a superpowered minority.
ISOM arrives at his sister’s and chastises her for not answering the door at this late hour with the gun he bought her. Apparently being bulletproof is one of ISOM’s potential powers. ISOM informs his sister that he has fucked things up. The sister regrets ever asking her retarded brother for help. No shit. They both fear retaliation for ISOM’s many crimes. If only ISOM did all this shit while wearing a FUCKING MASK LIKE A SUPERHERO. Then Darren wouldn’t know who to retaliate against. Eric “FUCK WOKE COMICS” July forgot the reason superheroes wear masks. Holy shit. ISOM’s niece Vassie walks in and hugs ISOM. ISOM then talks about her father’s death as she holds her. WTF. ISOM tucks Vassie in and she says he is obviously a superhero because of his muscles. He denies having powers and denies being a superhero. ISOM’s sister shows him footage of Jasmine before she disappeared. ISOM says Jasmine looks angry, not scared. Hinting maybe she’s working for Darren to get revenge?
We cut to Darren in a high-rise office. The hoe serving him a drink might be Jasmine? He monologues to his cronies about what makes an ‘empire’ and destroys his glass for dramatic effect. Then he talks about how he is the top dog. He says that they must kill ISOM, which after everything ISOM has done is totally fair. ISOM has committed multiple murders rather than be escorted off Darren’s property. This is the last we see of Darren, the main villain, and he hasn’t done anything sinister. He doesn’t even kill the guards that failed to stop ISOM. In comics the actual Kingpin is usually introduced by him killing a competitor or executing a disappointing henchman. Then he ruins someone’s life forcing Spider-Man or Daredevil to intervene. Darren has done nothing but be coy about whether or not he is evil and if he knows where Jasmine is. Only after ISOM has killed his employees and escaped the police does Darren explicitly say he is willing to murder.
ISOM goes to get his old suit from a guy. The guy doesn't have a name but he’s supposed to be a Q or Edna Mode. The guy has a ‘memory’ but not an actual memory, it is implied to be some kind of technology. The editorial text says it will get its own prequel story. Fuck off. The guy shows off his facility and talks about the super special materials they use to make the super suits. The guy gives ISOM his suit back, it doesn't have a fucking mask, and the comic ends. Why did Darren call Avery a nobody when everyone should know ISOM is Avery? This is his old suit and it doesn't hide his goddamn face. ISOM isn’t a stealthy hero. He literally just goes to the “bad guy’s” place and kicks the doors down.
There is then a teaser for Norfica. A Nordic-African band whose performances fuel/activate their powers. Norfica could be cool, but the teaser is so short they don’t really have enough time to assault women. Finally, there is an ad for Eric July’s wife’s etsy store.
This honestly reads like Eric July has a problem with a colleague from highschool that called him a loser. Also, he’s bitter about being thrown out of clubs. Now he has added a missing girl to justify his bad behavior and revenge fantasy. However, the girl isn’t missing and she doesn’t want ISOM’s help. So, it’s still not justified!
I bet lots of comments like “It’s easy to criticize, not so easy to create,” more or less dared Eric to make the Rippaverse. Eric mourns comics and yearns for their golden years. Why isn't the hook of this book an analogue for Stan Lee getting murdered by a gay communist? He talks about the state of current year comics like that actually happened. I can’t picture any comic hero I’ve read handling the Jasmine situation as poorly as ISOM has. This is supposed to be IRON MAN (2008) for Eric’s universe. Imagine the MCU if they tripped right out of the gate. Iron Man just has the Iron Man suit already and he photon cannons a child. Eric July could never even make CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019). ISOM is Lightbringer with a budget. Except in Lightbringer the bad guys actually committed crimes.
EXCELSIOR!!!
Article on Eric’s fans response to this amazing article.
