ERIC JULY'S FANS ARE CRYBABIES
JUST LIKE HIM!
Eric July, the man who turned 3 million dollars into toilet paper. Recently I published an extremely based review of Eric’s ISOM #1. It was not positive. In fact one might call it mean spirited. It was undeniably humorous. Above all, it was not inaccurate. Eric July’s ISOM #1 is a failure. It appears to be an attempt at Black Batman Vs The WIRE and a bunch of other comic shit, but written by a child. It ultimately fails because the characters and plot make no fucking sense on any level.
TLDR: ISOM is clearly superhuman, tackling a giant through a brick wall is one example, but Eric insists he has no powers. Yaira drops him from a height that would kill anyone and yet ISOM walks out of the hospital hours later. ISOM is a maniac and the missing girl, WHO HE DOESN'T KNOW, doesn’t want to be found. Eric uses tropes and aesthetics of the genre without understanding why they were implemented in the source material. His reaction to the criticism levied by others confirms ISOM’s poorly thought out violent tantrums are something he has inherited from his creator. How did Eric’s fans respond to me speaking truth to power?
Eric’s fans have found my critique lacking. They can’t stand it. I love that. Although none of them have read it all the way through. Despite that, they call me an envious Nword except they actually say that terrible terrible word.
Others call me jealous. That is inaccurate. I am envious. I have dabbled in art almost my whole life. I think I’m an ok writer. I would need a gun to my head to create a good comic book universe. Eric is a terrible writer that had 3 million dropped in his lap by culture war retards. Anyone who has ever made a comic/movie/etc. wishes that happened to them. 3 million can afford several guns to your head. Yet, Eric seems immune to that kind of motivation. He just sharted out ISOM and is furious when anyone says it smells.
Vito, the gay Joker to Eric July’s mentally handicapped Batman, was moved to tears on a livestream when he received $35,000 for his indie comic project: SUPERKILLER.
Vito is genuinely worried he will fuck it all up and disappoint everyone who believed in him. Especially me. On the other hand, it is impossible to disappoint Eric’s cult. Vito is, I assume, desperate for notes from fellow creators. Eric published a first draft. WHEN HE HAS TALENTED INDIE COMIC CREATORS ON SPEED DIAL. HE COULD LITERALLY JUST BE THE IDEA GUY AND CASH CHECKS FOREVER. Imagine if Tom Brady dropped the football and started humping the ground 1 yard from the endzone. Then called the refs the Nword. That’s the level of fumble we are at with the Rippaverse.
Rippaverse Goalposts is a twitter account dedicated to defending Eric and his literary abortions.
Rippaverse Goalposts is Eric July’s #1 fan. BECAUSE HE CAN’T READ.
Seriously. He can’t fucking read. Immune to humor. They also call me racist.
Eric July published almost 100 pages of Black on Black crime and I’m the racist? Moi???
Snowflake.
Eric’s fans also label all haters and critics as leftists.
Someone has taken racist 4chan memes and edited them to be about Eric July. The conclusion his fans have come to is that the editor is a racist leftist SJW. When it is clearly a far right guy who is mad Eric is Black and isn’t more right wing. That conclusion would require more nuanced thinking.
Yes, my review was mean. I’m a big meanie. To be fair, you guys didn’t want a gentle review. Dick Masterson, infamous internet troll and talented published writer, politely gave notes on The Biggest Problem in the Universe. The comedy podcast where he and Vito argue about bullshit. He made a few jokes and barbs but ultimately Dick had receipts for almost everything he found wrong with ISOM # 1. A man with thicker skin would pay for that kind of feedback. Get your draft Dick’d live!
Eric does not have ISOM’s totally not superhuman toughness. Eric cried about it for 5 days and even called Dick the dreaded Nword. A “hoe ass Nword”. He challenged Dick to “Pull up”. Which is Rippa speak for “fight". Eric is not 15. Eric’s sidekicks, like the homosexual communist Yellowflash, accused Vito of being a pedophile. Even though Vito was being the good cop to Dick’s mild cop. A totally normal thing to do.
A thousand years ago Vito did predict ISOM would be trash and everyone dog piled him for it. Including Dick. Including me. I left a voicemail for the show telling him he should wait and see. I agree with Eric in regards to the average modern comic being trash with ham fisted politics to deflect criticism. “TOO WOKE” is how an idiot might simplify that critique into 100s of YouTube videos. However, Eric went ahead and did the exact same thing but worse and with more money than any mainstream SJW hack has ever been paid. I guess Vito is an EXCEPT with clairvoyant powers. Watch out Vito! ISOM might “pull up” at your place of work!
Here’s a thought experiment for you Rippas still reading. I know it’s hard. If you can fit another thought in your tiny minds besides “Eric July is my daddy who didn’t leave for cigarettes”. Imagine if James Gunn released a terrible superhero movie. Then he called critics like Eric July “Nazis”. What would you call that?
Maybe Eric’s comics will improve. Maybe he’ll secretly ask for notes and actually edit his work. The rest of the Rippaverse could actually be worth reading. But unless he plans on re-releasing an improved version of ISOM #1, it will remain the worst launch of a comic book universe in history. Wow, Eric, you’re Nega Stan Lee.
Nuff said.