CYBERFROG WARTS AND ALL REVIEW

TOADALLY TUBULAR!

Cyberfrog is the Dark Souls of indie comics. I first saw Cyberfrog on the internet years ago. A cool drawing of a weird green cyber crime against God. Didn’t look into it at the time. I assumed Marvel was ripping off Battletoads. Having read WARTS AND ALL I can safely say Rash, Zitz and Pimple would be lucky to have Cyberfrog as their handicapable cousin. I had to look up Zitz and Pimple’s names, holy shit why would you name them that?

Whomstve is Cyberfrog? He’s a fucked up frog guy that kills criminals and doesn’t afraid of anything. WARTS AND ALL are the issues published in the 90s as a big hardcover. His debut. It is 90s in a good way. “Edgy” and winking at you sometimes.

“the art is fucking rad,”-pool of stool

Cyberfrog appears to be a mix of TMNT with DEADPOOL with the pathological need to kill evildoers like the PUNISHER. UMMM, based???

Cyberfrog is Ethan Van Sciver’s baby. He introduced the gruesome green gladiator in the 90s and then worked for mainstream comics. In his own words, he got excommunicated for openly supporting George DUBYA Bush. Labelled a Nazi. Now, to be fair, voting for George DUBYA Bush is retarded. Bush was a cheerleader, he got molested by freemasons and his dad killed JFK. I remember democrats crying about him stealing the election too, which we all know is impossible. In highschool we were shown the SNL skit where Al Gore was a passive aggressive little bitch about it. Then we watched an Inconvenient Truth. The real Al Gore said we would all be dead by now btw. No candidate is perfect I guess. YE2024! HOWEVER, your vote, no matter how retarded or gay, shouldn’t get you kicked out of an industry.

Mainstream comics is definitely missing out. EVS is the writer and the artist of Cyberfrog. The jokes are funny and the art is fantastic. It feels weird to me that Cyberfrog won’t be in the next Mortal Kombat One (Mortal Kombat 12 ffs) like SPAWN.

Very strong first impression. I think this is the only time a book flap has made me laugh. Maybe it’s the fact WARTS AND ALL is in black and white at first, but Cyberfrog does definitely feel like Sin City’s MARV. A disfigured self hating nut that massacres creeps.

What can Cyberfrog do? It’s important to be clear on your character’s abilities. He’s strong, he can jump crazy high (duh) and his tongue makes people explode. And not in the Sasha Grey kinda way. One and three are explained. Two goes without saying. Also, he has a “homing sense” which lets him know when crime is happening nearby. Later, his cyborg body morphs into weapons in response to overwhelming threats.

In WARTS AND ALL Cyberfrog kills a bunch of chumps, but the main antagonist is Ben Riley, The Deathfly!

A misanthropic high school boy who has decided to take out his misery on his teachers and classmates. Forever topical. However, instead of using an AR15 like a normal incel, Ben uses an Egyptian medallion to turn himself into a man-eating fly out of John Carpenter’s insectarium. A family heirloom. Neat. We witness Ben kill several of his classmates, they say stupid and/or funny things before Ben bites. It’s like if Carnage had Jason Vorhees’ MO. Deathfly is a great opposite for Cyberfrog. Deathfly appears to be a normal teenage boy, but is actually a monster. In every way. While Cyberfrog looks like Cyberfrog, but he saves people. They both rip and tear idiots apart. However, Cyberfrog’s ‘victims’ are human garbage. Deathfly’s are mostly children.

Like a slasher movie, you’re not supposed to feel bad for these victims. That changes with a new character. Enter Heather Swain (you wish). Heather is a hot redhead that hangs out in cemeteries. Oh wait. She’s supposed to be 17. Do not fantasize about her. The 90s were a different time. All freshmen girls were legally required to date college attending drug dealers. Anyway, Ben tries to eat/kill her and she escapes with a well timed nut shot. From this point on, Ben is obsessed with making her his bride and pursues her. Killing everyone even sort of in his way. It’s true, the quickest way to a man’s heart is CBT.

Cyberfrog is frustrated with the Deathfly murders. Not because he’s a humanitarian, but because his homing sense doesn’t work on them. His homing sense drags him to crimes and it annoys Cyberfrog that someone is, in a way, invisible to him. Heather is on a date with her white boyfriend who hates white people. She has to remind him he is white. Again, this book is still topical. As based trad wife Heather ditches her cuck date, Deathfly attacks. Deathfly turns the place into burning ruin and seizes Heather.

Cyberfrog arrives on the scene. Not because of his homing sense but because Deathfly made such a racket. Deathfly summons hell hounds to attack Cyberfrog. Heather steals the medallion and uses it to strangle Deathfly. It doesn’t work, but Deathfly loses his medallion to Cyberfrog because of her. Without the medallion he can’t turn back into Ben Riley. He prefers his monster form, the sicko, but he’s worried his mother will ground him. Before he can really bitch about it his master, Allah, turns him into a mostly human form. Hybrid Ben kicks Cyberfrog’s ass and imprisons him in Hell. Then he takes Heather to Hell. He intends to marry Heather. Gay. In front of Cyberfrog. Double gay. Why are you involving a male furry in what should be a sacred day between you and your child bride, Ben?

Cyberfrog ends up saving Heather and killing Ben. Earning Cyberfrog his first friend. However, death is not permanent for the Deathfly!

Cyberfrog is literally me

Then a young criminal named Yoshi sees his girlfriend get ripped a part by bug freaks. Rumblebee’s gang. Rumblebee is an evil bee man that talks like a pirate. Rumblebee and his boys are mad that Yoshi isn’t paying them enough protection money for not ratting on him. Cyberfrog shows up just in the nick of time! For Yoshi. The girl is super dead, they cut her head in half! Fuck! This book is definitely not woke. I don’t think we even got that hoe’s name. Cyberfrog shows up and saves Yoshi. Cyberfrog is outnumbered but his body grows guns and he manages to scare them off. Yoshi contemplates suicide then Ben Riley appears in front of him. Most likely to offer Yoshi power so he can kill Cyberfrog for not saving his girlfriend.

Cyberfrog fights the bug gang again and they have him on the ropes. They almost frag the frog. Luckily, an alien space ship mecha shows up to save him. The ship is what is left of Cyberfrog’s mom. The mothership wants to explain to Cyberfrog his origins and purpose. Cyberfrog does not want to listen. He resents her, if I looked like him I would too. Heather begs him to give his ‘mom’ a chance. He agrees, but villains attack. I don’t find any of them as interesting as the Deathfly. That is the major weakness of WARTS AND ALL. The other villains are not great. Cyberfrog kills them.

The mothership then exposits to Cyberfrog his origin. Their species can reproduce with any other species. Kinky. They shoot their goo and whatever the goo touches becomes a hybrid offspring with cybernetics to fill the gaps. Cyberfrog’s dad wanted to send his goo to earth to inspire humanity to be better and solve their problems. Cyberfrog was supposed to be half human not half frog. Cyberfrog was supposed to be Superman, not a bully butchering Bugs Bunny shunned by society. That revelation crushes his spirit.

Cyberfrog runs off to spite his “mother” and Heather chases after him. I think this concept of a freak of nature learning he was supposed to be the messiah and being upset because this worsens his insecurities is great. It sets up the arc of him actually becoming Superman by saving the world and becoming beloved. With comedic misunderstandings worsening his reputation before that. If the 90s issues continued. I can picture him saying “Ok ok, I’m supposed to be jumpin’ Jesus. I should be nicer. Or at least perform more family friendly fatalities,” and then accidentally killing a villain he was supposed to take in alive.

The next issue is a crossover between Cyberfrog and Creed. Not Black Rocky. Creed is another indie comic hero. A three fingered boy with a magic toad from the dream world. I don’t care for white Creed. What follows is every comic book crossover ever. Their villains have teamed up. They brainwash Creed into attacking Cyberfrog. The spell is broken. They team up to pants the villains and step on their balls. Their highschool girlfriends make out. Cyberfrog insults Creed the entire time. Takes his lunch money. Which I appreciate.

Now for Salamandroid.

Cyberfrog’s brother. Where Cyberfrog is a compact motormouth, Salamandroid is a massive monster of few words. Mostly bloodthirsty roars. He’s half Salamander if his name went over your head. We get an issue where Salamandroid saves a girl after her father is whacked. This is seconds after Salamandroid is born. Then Cyberfrog tries to protect nuns from a typical New Yorker. The New Yorker turns out to be a werebear and the nuns are evil spirits. Salamandroid slaughters while Cyberfrog is confounded. One of the nuns gets stuck (impaled) on Cyberfrog’s shoulder fins. At the highschool, Heather is talking with a friend about boys. Specifically Yoshi, Heather’s new boyfriend. Seeing how we last saw him with Ben Riley, this would probably lead to something bad for Heather. Tragedy most likely. Maybe Yoshi has a change of heart and dies turning on Ben. If the 90s comics continued.

Cyberfrog takes Heather back to his place because he still can’t get the nun off him. She chainsaws the nun at the neck. The head remains. Cyberfrog notices a bruise on Heather and she acts like it is nothing. The pair go get fried chicken and Heather realizes putting Cyberfrog in the deep fryer will get the nun head off. It does. Once again Heather proves her female brain is superior’s to a frog’s. Never mind, this book is woke.

The next issue is called “SUCK”. Boy scouts turn up dead, drained of their blood in the woods. The culprit might be a vampire, or much more likely, a drag queen. Cyberfrog and Heather go to investigate. Salamandroid explains to Rebecca, the girl he saved, that she won’t see him anymore because his war against evil will endanger her. On the other end of the fatherhood spectrum, Heather’s step dad is beating her mom. Probably because she doesn’t listen. Heather tries to bait him into hitting her so Cyberfrog will super kill him. Instead the step father just threatens to leave her mom while insulting Heather. Which makes Heather cry. Heather joins Cyberfrog on the woods’ investigation to distract from her home life. Will Cyberfrog become the real father who stepped up?

The woods’ vampire turns out to be giant mosquitoes. Oh no! How will CyberFROG handle them!? Not well. They suck his blood and he passes out. He wakes up to discover they have dragged Heather to a cave with the same symbol as the Deathfly’s medallion. Heather is still alive because the mosquito king called dibs. Cyberfrog evolves tentacles and hentais the mosquitos to death. The fly king flees (or is it fleas, heh) by revealing the cave is actually a UFO. This confuses Heather and Cyberfrog because Ben Riley isn’t an alien. We get a “to be continued” and that’s all for WARTS AND ALL.

I think it would be a no brainer to continue this story with Ben Riley becoming a beloved celebrity because of his satanic connections. While the public is ignorant to the murders he commits as Deathfly. Cyberfrog keeps getting blamed and framed for shit until he saves the world in a way that is undeniable. With wacky minor villains like Ezra Miller being thrown at him all the time.

Overall, I loved this book. I bought it because EVS stood up for an indie comic critic that was being smeared like he was. I’m glad it turns out I don’t have to trash it. Cyberfrog is a fun guy. He and Heather are a good duo. Ben Riley is a good villain. I would like to see more. However, these are the 90s issues reprinted. Cyberfrog’s story does not have a satisfying conclusion. Yet. EVS keeps launching campaigns to fund and publish new Cyberfrog stories. Unless EVS was replaced by a body snatcher in the last 20 years, they are most likely worth your time. You can probably still buy WARTS AND ALL from EVS’ Ebay if interested.