VITO AND BOWBLAX
THE FUTURE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEM!?
The future of The Biggest Problem is uncertain. Between Dick being cursed by Girl God with horrific head pain and tinnitus, and Vito’s year long meth binge, it’s hard to see a future for this podcast. Vito has many projects. It seems like a new one each day. Vito mentioned wanting to do a NEW podcast with Bowblax and Dick told him just do it. So, the latest episode of BIGGEST PROBLEM is Vito and Bowblax. I guess making new show graphics or doing it on Bowblax’s was too much effort.
Bowblax was on an episode of Biggest Problem and was the best part of that episode. Since that appearance Bowblax has become non binary. THEY stopped making their normal twitter drama videos, which was very lucrative, and did OnlyFans. At first they charged $10 and then lowered the price to $2 because the genderfluid fish weren’t biting. Now Bowblax has TRANSITIONED to making gaming videos I think.
Vito got the idea to make a plushie of himself from Bowblax BTW.
Here’s Vito’s plushie!
Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Mario’s bitch, is Bowblax’s favorite thing. So, that’s what this riveting episode is about. Wait no. It’s about Vito not using ad block.
They, as in both of them, then talk about how the Sonic fan community are a bunch of degenerate autists. Takes one to know one I guess.
Bowblax was drawn to Sonic as a kid because he is a “mature” character. Vito reveals his “evil step mom” shamed him for playing the immature game Tales of Destiny. This traumatic event happened 3 weeks ago. Then Vito revealed he only got videogames as a kid because drug addicts with no money would give them to Vito’s dad to settle debts. Ironically, cursing his son with his crippling videogame addiction.
Vito and Bowblax are nostalgic for Sonic’s Black voice courtesy of Urkel. They complain that the modern hedgehogs are not Black. Vito argues Idris Elba who voices Knuckles the Hedgehog is not really Black because he’s a “Londoner”. The holocaust comes up because of course it does. In some comic book issue Eggman was Hitler and Knuckles was the Jews. Bowblax argues that Sonic Movie 4 could get Trump to impeach himself if Amy the Hedgehog is Black.
Bowblax insists most cars are literally Black. Vito is rightly confused by this and starts FUCKING googling it. This leads to Bowblax revealing he sold his Tesla model 3 for money he really needed. Bought for 40k and sold for “over 20k”. His first car. However, Bowblax is a homeowner and says the Canadian ghetto he now lives in is very walkable.
Vito gives us a history lesson on Sonic’s creator. This leads to them watching Sonic 2006, one of the worst games ever. Bowblax sort of defends it. The duo finds it fascinating. I don’t! They then dissect Balan Wonderworld. NEVER FUCKING HEARD OF THIS! Oh, also Sonic’s creator paid a fine for insider trading apparently.
Vito claims making a platformer videogame is easy. Can’t wait to see it in 14 years, Vito!
Later they complain about woke censorship in Sonic. Sonic no longer beats his incel GF Amy and they covered up Rouge the Bat.
This is their only good point the entire show. Everyone wants to fuck Rouge the Bat. No one is disputing this. In the games she should look more like what’s in our hearts and hard drives.
There’s only a few superchats for this episode for some reason. Vito half reads a negative one. BUT he did read one from Sword Poodle!
Sword Poodle! Don’t reveal spicy DMs!
Be a gentleman!
I'm now quite glad I skipped this one